My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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