Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
