We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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