just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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