allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
