she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize