Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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