Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
