All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
