We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
