She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
