I need help removing her.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
