You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
