Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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