Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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