What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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