she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
