Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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