is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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