last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
