He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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