Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Randomize
