He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
