woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
