I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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