youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
