dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
