I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
accomplished twins. life is a go
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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