i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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