is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
