Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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