I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
