just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
