Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
whose parrot is this?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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