I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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