At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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