So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
