I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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