so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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