Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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