I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
