he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
