but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
