And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
