I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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