Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
