Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
