I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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