I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
