Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
