he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize