I hate your face
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
