is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize