he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
