My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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