I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
