i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
