if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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